It seems inevitable. Every time I seem to get into a place where what I want and what is possible are both in the edge of possibility. I end up with nothing but anxiety, self-pity, shame and most importantly dread of myself.

Maybe I shouldn’t take stuff so seriously, but I have a heavy heart and I don’t know how to stop disappointing, what’s even the point if no one’s happy.

And every single person I know tells me:

“Well you say you couldn’t take it anymore
You can’t live like this, it’s a really big deal
Well I don’t care, can’t pay attention
And I don’t give a fuck about your intentions at all”

Fuck my intentions, fuck me trying to please, fuck me trying to be polite, fuck me trying to have fun, fuck me trying not to bother. Why do people want to fuck with me if I can’t even get over the fact that this fuck me shit won’t take me nowhere.